Monday, May 9

News from Augusta, Georgia

"James Brown Weighs 600 Pounds

The Godfather of Soul, Mr. James Brown (you must call him Mr. Brown when in his presence), now weighs in at 600 pounds.

No, Mr. Brown has not had one too many meals on the road.

But on Friday, he was honored in Augusta, Ga., with a 7-foot statue, which was unveiled in the center of town.

Yes, the press release says it was 'life-size,' but we'll let that bit of hyperbole stand.

The occasion was Mr. Brown's 72nd birthday. And despite his many incarcerations and various marital mishaps, the legendary performer and singer of 'I Feel Good' and 'It's a Man's World' was there for the unveiling.

The Rev. Al Sharpton, Brown's former manager and protégé, was on hand for the dedication ceremony and agreed with the decision to honor his friend.

According to the Augusta Chronicle, Sharpton told the large crowd that came to the $40,000 statue's unveiling: 'People can now come to Augusta, Georgia, and look at a statue of a man who used to shine shoes on this street. A man who had to dance for nickels.'

Mr. Brown was joined on stage to accept his award by the equally legendary Bobby Byrd and a local singer named Tony Howard.

In keeping with the psychedelic nature of this event, according to the Chronicle, the song they chose to perform was 'Sex Machine.'"

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